A tropical Christmas is charming once. Our first holiday in Mexico we rode Malcolm’s new folding bike down Calle 58, drank Cuban rum and cocas, and strung silver tinsel on our planted palm tree. Every year after that we longed for winter weather, conspicuous consumption, and gallons of egg nog. Which may explain why this December 1st we already have a 10 ft tall tree decorated in our living room, wreaths on every door, stockings hung by the faux fire and candles burning bright in windows. When it gets dark at three in the afternoon, you need to warm your home and light the night with ornaments and carol songs. It’s Christmas-time!

Nothing says Christmas like a cup of hot booze. Presents and peace and magic are totally awesome, but baby, it’s cold outside, and a steaming mug of liquid courage emboldens me to face the chilliest of nights. And what a wonderful welcome for guests, when they enter your home, lit with candles and a crackling fire, and are given a drink to warm the body and stoke the soul’s fire. Though the days grow longer, the temperatures will dip even lower in the coming months, and so it is time to gather our quilts and cast off our wits for a few hours of companionable, intoxicated merriment. Here are five ways to achieve a delightful winter buzz:

1. The Hot Toddy. I don’t know what’s in it, but doesn’t it sound sassy and old fashioned? I’m kidding. I mean, it’s obviously saucier than your grandma at a USO dance, but I know how to make one. I just used the internet, duh. A Hot Toddy combines whiskey, honey, lemon juice and hot water. Perhaps a little more medicinal than festive, this makes the list because there are likely a few hungover mornings and sniffly afternoons in our near future.
2. Hot Buttered Rum is a perrennial favorite. I bet it tastes like a hot boozy Werther’s Original. Combine brown sugar, hot milk, dark rum, butter, and nutmeg. Try it with your grandma.
3. Mulled wine should always be simmering somewhere during winter parties. Doesn’t it seem so cozy? You stir brown sugar, cinnamon and cloves into red wine, in a big heavy pot on the stove for 30 minutes until hot, then add port wine and brandy.
4. Spiked Hot Cider is slightly more autumnal than winterish, but I think it would be so lovely for an afternoon cookie exchange or knitting circle. I would use rum, and steep a fruity tea or fresh ginger for another dimension of flavor.
5. Swiss Mrs. is the name of a fantastic drink I just made up. It’s grown-up cocoa, double duh. Add peppermint Schnapps to your favorite hot chocolate, done. There’s also the Swiss Mr., which is made with Frangelico, a hazelnut liqueur. These would be perfect apres sledding treats, or you could pair them with a Croque Monsieur and Madame and spend a snowy day, fat on the couch, watching London-based holiday movies.

Irony is facile, boring, and so ’96. Around here we embrace the magic, then we wrap it in cranberries, glitter, and bells. Hooray, for the holiday season is upon us!